The same pr&$k I mentioned before has recently bought a Toyota Corolla. It's a horrible green colour. I asked him about it and he said, proudly, that he'd chosen that particular car as it supported local workers.

Now, in principle, he'd be correct. Toyota have a huge engine plant across the river from me, employing 2000 local people. Unfortunately, the model he's chosen is the 1.6 litre. THAT engine, and the entire car it's fitted to, is made overseas!

I have a fishpond in my garden, made from an old plastic water tank, scrap ply and leftover logs. It looks great! (he says modestly)It's less than 3 feet square, attached to the front of my house, and is in a shaded corner. I have so far had 5 complaints because it has a little solar powered water pump on it that sucks up about 3 litres an hour and trickles it down an array of ivy leaves made from thin copper sheet and fishing line. I'm sitting 6 feet away as I write this, with the window open and I can't hear it. The complainers claim it is noisy at night and keeps them awake. Not one of them is within 50 feet of the thing and the flow slows right down at night as the NiMH battery runs down.

There are also complaints made about the smell of my van. It runs on biodiesel, made from FREE used vegetable oil that I periodically collect from local restaurants. I quite honestly pay the UK government the 27.1 pence per litre tax I'm supposed to and enjoy my cheap, trouble-free motoring. The neighbours comment, sometimes nastily, that it smells like the back of a McDonalds.

Could it be that my neighbours are upset about my pleasant pond cum water-feature because they haven't got one? Or that they resent my cheaply run van because they don't have the intelligence to build a simple, £200 conversion unit to make the fuel and instead have to pay upwards of $6.00 a gallon for the stuff out the pump?

I'll be glad to move! We have a plot picked out. No neighbours for 1/2 mile.

I just need to get the last few jobs done on this house, so I can sell it, and I'll be out of here. Call it 2 years. I have a baby due, so don't expect to get much done for the next few months.