I'm sorry Tomw,
But I too have been squirreling away feverishly at building a device which whist not completely overcoming the effect of gravitons and their accompanying bosuns, does seem to work quite well.
I have devised a machine which will power mankind towards outer space with no external energy.
Just last night I elevated myself to the dizzying height towards space of 11 feet, unaided by any but my own power.
This astonishing feat was achieved with my new device which for your edification I will continue to outline below.
It consists of some parallel arms with cross arms running at 90 degrees to the parallel ones. Interspaced between these smaller cross arms are harmless vacuous areas. These vacuous areas are spaced evenly apart to achieve a laminer airflow should some arrive while this amazing device is being utilized.
I have found that sometimes while in ascent mode there were some unusual noises and warm exhaust gasses escaping. I have since improved the design to incorporate a set of leather underpants and the lid off a biscuit tin with a hole in it to protect the nether regions from the exhausting gas.
I claim this device will be able to move countless persons toward outerspace, at an incredible rate... at least several feet per second, is scaleable,and with minimal environmental damage..... except of course those gasses I was talking about.
However, on closer inspection of the apparatus, I have noticed that the usage of rubber feet on the base of the device helps the interface between the device and terrafirma, and so minimises the slippage that one may suspect could occur with the thrust generated by this type of machine.
Whilst using this device and elevating myself towards the firmament under my own power, I have discovered that the leather underwear and accompaning biscuit tin lid are not necessary if you dont fart while climbing it.
I've decided to call this thing a ladder.
I'm sure that some practical use will come of this device.
....... oztules (livin on the edge)
Flinders Island Australia
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