Since I'm not ready to go off-grid quite yet, I still get to deal with my friendly neighborhood power company, AEP/PSO. The last ten months of service from them have been a particularly fun experience.
First off, I moved into this house in January. The first conversation I had with an AEP representative ended with them wanting a ridiculous deposit before commencing service. Apparently the previous residents of this house used an absurd amount of electricity. I can't imagine how. Regardless, AEP (in their medieval wisdom) calculated my deposit based on the usage of the previous residents. Despite quite a bit of wrangling, they would not budge on this. Oh, well, I'll get it back in twelve months anyways. Strike one, ridiculous deposit.
So I'm off, getting my usual power bills of like 350 kWh/mo, until about July. Out of the blue, I get a $90 bill that says 1,300 kWh. So, I check the meter. Nope, 400 kWh. I check the bill again: estimated reading. Apparently it was estimated based on the last jokers who lived here, not me. I call and offer to let AEP send somebody out to read the meter. No, that's okay, they'll take my word for it. They send me a correct bill. Strike two, ridiculous random bill.
Strike three was when they sent some guys out to mangle all the trees in my yard. They were extra nice about it. Somebody came by and marked the trees they were going to mangle. They left a note: "We're going to mangle the marked trees." I checked. That's fine, I don't care about any of the marked ones. I care about the big ones that aren't marked. All the literature says "plant big trees 15 ft from power lines." Well, that's where my big ones are. They got mangled anyways.
Like I said, that was strike three. By then I'm buying parts for enough windmills never to have to deal with AEP ever again.
A couple of months ago, I get a notice of new rate plans. "Don't worry," it says, "you've been placed in the correct rate plan for your usage," (or something to that effect). Yeah, right. But, I take their word for it. My bill seems to match up with the rate plans on the flier. I'm beginning to think maybe I misjudged AEP. Maybe they can do some things right.
Then again, maybe not. Apparently the flier didn't mention all of the rate plans. And, apparently, I wasn't in the right one. I just noticed this today. To their credit, AEP is one of the few utilities that actually publishes their tariffs in plain view on their website. Unfortunately, though, they don't bother to read them themselves.
I call customer service. "I'm in the wrong rate plan. I want to change." "Oh, you can't do that. Everybody is in tariff 15 now." "Hmm, that's not what it says on your website. I want tariff 20." Long, uncomfortable pause. "Okay, let me transfer you to the correct guy. You can leave a voicemail."
How many people would go past this point to save $5 a month? Well, me, for one. I leave a voicemail.
Five minutes later, a call back. "Unfortunately, you're not eligible for that tariff." "Whaa? I use miniscule amounts of electricity. It says so right on all of my bills." "Oh, well, last October you used 1,100 kWh." "That wasn't me, besides, as the tariff says, only the last five months are counted." "Just wait a month and then you can switch." "I don't want to wait. Besides, I don't want to argue. Should I just call my Corporation Commissioner?"
Dum, dum, dum. That's the word they never want to hear. It's a magic phrase. Open Sesame. But this one has been around the block. There's still fight left in him.
"Well, you used 1,300 kWh in July." "That was an incorrect estimate. It's been corrected. I think I'll just call the Corporation Commission." I try one last time. "Okay, I'll change it, effective on the next reading." By now I'm impressed. Who knows when their readings are. I think they're like every three months. "What? A month from now? It says in the tariff that I should be switched automatically, effective this month." "Oh, it doesn't happen automatically. You have to request it." "Let me go and get the tariff, then." I go and frantically copy the pertinent phrase from my computer. I go back to the phone. "Well I've discovered you've already been switched." "Automatically?" Silence. "You're on tariff 20, effective immediately."
Good. I've got what I want. But by now I'm riled up, so I'm not going to let him off easy.
"That's great! Thanks for your help. By the way, I'm building some windmills so I don't have to deal with you guys any more. Have a nice day."
I think I may just write the Corporation Commission anyways.