there are many ways to accomplish what you want to do. Most of them involve quite a bit of (as you put it) 'Electrickery' . . . so if one of the radio remote options will work with turn-key parts, do that. you may find that bringing both the transmit and recieve antennas close (5 cm?) and parallel to the fence wire will extend the radio's range. (works best with low-frequency radios, but hey, it's easy to try. . .)
Otherwise, if you go to a 24VDC latching relay, and can gin up a couple of decent-sized inductors, you could conceivably run the pump control and the fence at the same time: assuming that the fence pulses are inductive kicks, a suitable pair of inductors would protect the fence from shorting through the low voltage part of the circuit. I say 'assuming inductive kicks', because I have an old charger that puts 2.8kV at 60hz sinewave on the fence. MAN, does it get your attention! (we also had a horse that would get bored and lick that same fence, but that's a different story. . . .)
Basically, put a big inductor in series between the fencewire and the relay, and another seriesed between the controls and the fencewire. Make sure the charger does not connect to anything other than the fence wire itself. to activate pump, connect your 24VDC controls to the 'non-fencewire' side of the 'control end' inductor, (with a latching relay, hold the signal for a good few seconds) and off you go. the return side of the controls would use an earthed line. . .In my case, (and I recommend in yours, too) I'd disconnect the fence from the charger before using the control feature, for added protection of equipment and operator.
Serveral hundred turns of magnet wire around a ferrite or steel rod is a good start on a home-made inductor. 1-2 cms is a good diameter for the rod. the more turns, the better. Potting a home-made inductor in epoxy is probably a good plan, and try not to overlap any windings, lest that 4kV punch through the insulation on your magnet wire.
-Dan