Hi,
Collector and tank size are not that easy to determine precisely, but a rough way:
Estimate the heat loss using this calculator:
http://www.builditsolar.com/References/Calculators/HeatLoss/HeatLoss.htm
Get your average temperatures from weather.com, and plug these in as the Design Outdoor Temperature -- then the in the output, the "Design Heat Loss" will be the loss at that temp in BTU/hr. Do this for a typical day for several months of the winter to get an idea what your heat losses will be like through the winter. Don't use extreme record temperature -- just the historic averages.
For water storage, each gallon of water holds about 8 BTU per degree of temperature change. So, if you have a 300 gallon tank, and you can take it up to (say) 150F, and extract heat down to 90F, then it is storing (300 gal)(8 BTU/gal)(150F - 90F) = 144,000 BTU -- about equivalent to 2 gallons of propane burned in an 80% efficient furnace.
On a sunny day, you can roughly figure that each sqft of solar collector will add about 800 BTU to the storage tank. About 1.5 gallons of water going from 90F to 150F will store this amount of heat -- so, you need about 1.5 gallons of water storage for each sqft of solar collector to store one full days worth of sun from the collector. Most people use 1.5 to 2.0 gallons per sqft of collector.
Your slab will also store a bit of heat, but you can't vary the temperature very much.
For the water heating for showers, most of the rules of thumb say about 20 sqft per person per day -- that's showers plus other hot water needs.
Or, just looking at showers, a 10 minute shower at 2 gpm at 110F with 50F ground water requires about
(2 gal/min)(10 min)(8.3 lb/gal)(110F - 50F)(1 BTU/lb-F) = 10,000 BTU per shower.
So, for 4 showers a day, you would want to add enough collector to produce 40K BTU per day over the space heating -- plus any other hot water needs.
You might be able to figure out a way to extract some of the heat remaining in the shower water before it goes down the drain.
so, as a very rough cut, with a 10X10 building, R40 ceiling, R30 walls, some windows and floor losses, and 0.5 air changes per hour, with an outside temp of 30F, your heat loss might be about 4000 BTU/hr, or 100K BTU/day -- add another 30K BTU for hot water needs, and this is 130K BTU per day.
On a sunny day, (130K BTU/800 BTU/sqft of collector) = 160 sqft of collector.
A tank size of (1.5 gal/sqft)(160 sqft) = 240 gallons.
This (very very roughly) would take care of needs on a sunny day and through that evening and into the next morning a bit. If you want to account for some cloudy weather before going to backup heat, you need to add more collector and more storage.
I guess you would have to think about whether a tank sized for solar heating (as above) would also work for your backup heat. Seems like it might?
For adding heat to the tank from the wood stove, I think another copper coil heat exchanger would work. Be very careful about using and maintaining a pres/temp relief valve -- steam is like dynamite.
You might be able to just circulate water from the tank through the floor loop -- thats what I do:
http://www.builditsolar.com/Projects/SpaceHeating/SolarShed/solarshed.htm
These heat exchanger coils tend to be bulky, so you will need a fair bit of tank size just to get the HX coils in.
The demand water heaters are good for boosting tank water up to some needed temp. They can be set to only add heat when the inlet temp falls below some level you set.
One thing you will find is that more insulation and better sealing will make your solar go further, and will also reduce backup heat load when you need it.
Gary