Your first question is about product recommendation - all I can say here is that I'm happy with my Xantrex C40 so far, and it will meet my needs for quite a while to come.
There are a couple of answers to your second question. Basically, the diversion load is a "safety" system. It must be as reliable as possible. An inverter may be reliable, but it shuts itself down for its own reasons, leaving the windmill with no safety system. Secondly, the inverter must be fed from the battery, a constant source of DC voltage. The diversion circuit of a controller is a pulsed DC feed that is adjusted repeatedly as the windmill speeds up + slows down in response to the wind. In this situation the inverter would not work properly - like it was being switched on and off hundreds of times per second.
A diversion load must be "stupid". Most people use resistors or heating elements. The charge controller will come with a manual that specifies what good diversion loads are.