Hey guys. Thanks for the ideas, too.
It was mostly a joke since my wife made a facebook update about being without power, so I grabbed her i-phone and made my own "status update"

Saturday was difficult because we had company arriving, and apart from having to stop solving this problem to pick them up at the airport, all we had to offer at the house was the... ahem... latrine.

Typical country house: well pump, stove, dryer on 240V. Both sides gone. Once the wires were pulled out of the connector bars on the pole and the house end, I did some Ohm tests on both hot lines and the neutral and none of them show continuity! Some kind of clean break or short underground. The u/g wires are aluminum, 2 gauge or thereabouts, separate conductors, and the neutral doesn't have a shield. There's also a ground with green shield that doesn't come back up the conduit at the pole!
Anyway I'm pretty sure it's a mess underground and even if I try to pull the AL wires out of the conduit (assuming there IS conduit laid all the way) I worry that I'd just be pulling new CU wires into a broken conduit, ready to shift yet again.
No signs of anything going on above ground. Have a clear line of sight from house to pole, just the driveway between. No sink-holes, never excavated (not since I moved in 6 yrs ago at least). It's quite a mystery!
My first response Friday night was to rig up the extension cords from the inverter at the barn to the house. That worked for a while (120V/30A) but couldn't draw more than 20 Amps. It happened to be a very sunny and windy day, so the RE system had no trouble keeping up. That came to an end when the inverter fuse blew because mother-in-law started the microwave while the fridge and furnace were both going.
Meanwhile I was hooking up a RV power outlet to the side of the house. Something I've always been meaning to get a round tuit... Well this was the day. Pulled some armored cable under the house and up to the breaker panel, replaced the 100A breaker with a 50A breaker for safety. That done I just had to start the Honda generator I'd borrowed from a friend. No-go. Gas, oil, spark plug, air filter, dammit nothing wrong but won't go. I've personally used that generator many times and it chose now to give up.
Fine. Scrounged a whole bunch of 3-gauge wire that had been set aside at work after a 3-phase service was replaced. Enough to reach to the house + an extra conductor in case one wasn't any good. Laid that along the ground from house to pole, took the plug off the cord I was going to use for the generator and put it on these fat wires (required some persuasion). Hooked the other ends to the pole panel (pulling down the bad ones) and stood back... Checked connections, found a fault, checked again, good to go. Flipped the breaker and yay! Lights back on. More importantly, the WATER was back on!!! Guests are more comfortable now.
I have a neighbour who is an electrician who can take a look at it tomorrow, and help figure out if the old wire can be saved or the conduit is bad, or if we just gotta dig it all up and lay a new line.
Note: This is Calgary. Ice on water even in May. Some readers must think I meant to write "air conditioner" instead of furnace, but that ain't so at 51 degrees north latitude.